Thursday, February 26, 2009

25 random things [that I hate about you]

25 random things that you probably didn't know about our blog:

1. Our blog began because God said, "Let there be blog."
2. Our blog actually began because one of us said, "what if we shared a blog?"
3. Our original blog concept was based off the restaurant Sibling Rivalry.
4. At one point, our pilot blog was calvinandjaredunited.blogspot.com because Calvin made a typo.
5. Jared still has to write a post on Morgan Freeman to counteract this.
6. Calvin and Jared usually don't tell each other when they post. They find out when they check the blog.
7. Last December, we were going to have a special blog theme month, but we ended up not doing it. What was theme? Maybe we'll do it in the future...
8. We occasionally get letters from the future.
9. Jared brings up Calvin Johnson as often as he can in the blog in order to attract the attention of all fantasy football owners who own the player (specifically Ian).
10. For our 2008 awards, most of the award winners were decided before the actual awards they won were created.
11. We like to link other blogs.
12. We change our background color based on the season or how we are feeling.
13. Poop is the color of brown.
14. Our first posts were probably our most creative and funniest. It's only gone down from there.
15. Our deepest thought was this.
16. Our most political post was this.
17. On days we don't shower we write our best material.
18. Our blog is so good, cuz it's so hood...
19. What the heck is this?
20. You would think there's a link here. But there isn't.
21. If any of our posts gets over 30 comments, a bonus blog entry will be posted.
22. Whenever we have a double post, Calvin always posts first. Age before beauty? More like, Calvin is less lazy.
23. Our blog boldly predicts that the world will end at some point in the future.
24. As much as we love to make fun of it, we secretly love the snuggie.
25. We plagiarize most of our blog ideas.

storytime #3

you know what this is!

One day a man walked to the store and on the way there he noticed something very shiny in the ground. Unfortunately he couldn't investigate because he had stepped in a bucket of superglue. He stood there, sad and stuck, until he realized he wasn't stuck at all, because it wasn't a bucket of superglue he was standing in-- it was vanilla pudding. "Thank goodness for vanilla pudding," the man said as he stretched out his tongue into the bucket. But the realization struck him too late. It was actually vanilla-flavored superglue. Then Dr. Beakman from Beakman's World came and told this unfortunate man how to dissolve superglue of the vanilla variety. It's true, things were looking up for this man. Until he actually looked up at Beakman... only to find him being devoured by a savage velociraptor. He shrugged and said "whatever.." Suddenly, the man realized he was not stuck at all, but rather he was watching his future self. He then looked down and realized he was not himself, but actually Scott Baio, from Charles in Charge, the velociraptor was his best pal, Buddy, and the bucket was Mr. Powell.

"Where am I, Al?" he questioned.

"Sam, I think you've leaped into a late 80s early 90s sitcom," Al replied.

"Great Scott! I think he's right," exclaimed Doc Brown.

"We're all just a bunch of outsiders," lamented Ponyboy.

And then they all died. The end.




Calvin
Jerry
Jess
Jared
Jeremy
Mike

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Monday, February 23, 2009

do you remember......?


this?

The prostars was a cartoon that ran for one season (according to the interweb) it was based around bo jackson, michael jordan and wayne gretzky. they were the real voice actors too. they were amazing sports stars by day but by night they fought crime! i mean good thing too cause MJ was in chicago. the great one was from LA. and Bo split his time in both... rough cities.

lol i recall the show because I like ... well most kids my age, loved michael jordan. i dont remember much about the show except that they had a ton of corny lines like ... i remember distinctly wayne gretzky took out a hockey stick and hit some guy with it and he was like "5 minutes for high sticking"

clearly it didnt last long.

anyway here's the opening theme song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px5njG8ikvo

Thursday, February 19, 2009

response to opinion

Thanks for all your responses to our opinion post. We will do our best to fulfill your boredom needs, whether our posts are short or long.

Here are a list of things to look forward to in our blog:

Link to the past - You will be linked into learning about a moment in Jared's past.

Blog-off - Unlimited posts for the day? Only if you comment!


Daily
Weekly Monthly Occasional Droppings - Little turds of pop culture that we might have forgotten.

Okay, that's all, go back to work.

- calvin and jared [go back to work]

Friday, February 13, 2009

opinion

Calvin and I are wondering if people prefer a flurry of short posts or a slow metronome of long posts. Ideally, we would want to write long posts everyday, but we have other commitments in our lives and mouths to feed (our own mouths).

Please feel free to comment.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

fake update

Haha, not only was this a fake update, it's not even funny either!


note: We apologize for the post for those who have weak hearts, high expectations, or names that begin with the letter 'L'.

note 2: Our post might be funnier now as a result of the previous note. If that is so, we are sorry for lying to you in the first place. Life isn't fair.

note 3 : God gives grace.

note 4: Our previous notes may convey the intention of an actual post. So if you feel that way, we are sorry again for lying.

note 5: Poop.

note 6: Monkey Butt.

Monday, February 9, 2009

acceptance speech

I asked the 2008 winner of the most loyal blog reader in the field of excellence to say a few words about receiving the prestigious award:
mikey: taht's okey
There you have it folks, he's loyal AND modest!

Friday, February 6, 2009

mordor draft

Age-old question: You are on your way to Mordor to drop the Ring into the volcano. Which five [fictional or real] people would you want to accompany with you to complete this mission?



Pick #1 - Calvin selects Genie from Aladdin - Magic Specialist



three wishes, plus he can sing, fight and get me out of a pickle. AND if i set him free he sticks around like an unpaid bill, but unlike said bill he continues to give me wishes ... done deal.


Pick #2 - Jared selects Terminator - Primary Guardian



This guy is all about protecting weak people that will save the world; it's in his DNA--err, circuits! He's got firepower, brawn, and a shotgun to boot. As the saying goes, a good offense is a best offense.


Pick #3 - Jared selects McGyver - Resource Manager



The Journey to Mordor has limited supplies. If I want to maximize all my materials, I need a guy that can turn a stick, a rubber band, and some rocks into a formidable weapon. He's the guy to do it.


Pick #4 - Calvin selects Jesus Christ - Primary Savior


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He saved the world; surely, He can save me from some puny orcs.


Pick #5 - Calvin selects The Stay Puff Marshmallow man - Intimidator/Snack


Sure he's marshmallow, but he's scary and could probably crush some dark riders...literally. plus if he dies, we get to eat. no more of that elf food.


Pick #6 - Jared selects Bear Grylls - Survivalist



Wow, this guy can survive anywhere in middle earth. He also can help us navigate past potential hazards. Mountains? No problem. Raging river? Cake walk. Army of orcs? Fluff sandwich. Plus, he'll provide us with his urine in case we get dehydrated or a cold blade gets stuck on our hands.


Pick #7 - Jared selects Neo - Bullet Stopper



We need someone can stop bullets, flying rocks, any kind of projectile from hurting us. Also, I hear he's a pretty good fighter.


Pick #8 - Calvin selects Snuggle - Comforter


When the times get tough, sometimes you just need a hug. Enter:snuggle. He so cute and cuddly even Sauron himself might melt a little


Pick #9 - Calvin selects Jared Lui - Primary fighter


We know he can blog. but did we know he was a middle-earth protecting maniac? yeah we did. so naturally, i chose him. look at those gloves. wow. plus everyone he has on his team will be joined with my team. jared and calvin unite, yet again.


Pick #10 - Jared selects Calvin Johnson - Wide Receiver



We need someone who can handle double and triple coverage. There's a good chance the ratio between us and the bad guys won't be 1 to 1.


The end, we hope you enjoyed our draft. In case you're counting, Calvin won this draft. I can't believe Jesus Christ dropped to the 4th pick...

Monday, February 2, 2009

a special birthday announcement

As some of you may have known, it was our very own Calvin's birthday this past Sunday (2/1). You may remember Calvin from blogs such as calvinandjaredunite.blogspot.com, jaredandcalvinunite.blogspot.com, and for-humors-sake.blogspot.com. I encourage you to post a moment you shared with Calvin in our comments. If you don't, that's okay, but just remember that if it was your birthday, Calvin would definitely post a comment on your blog.