sad

its sad to think that the "great debate" this year will be decided with puppets and not people... maybe we did have a chance to beat the cavs. 

think about it.

Calvin: how can tehy be called the cleveland lebrons? theres only one of him. if it was team full of them ... well we know what would happen.

Jared: They would all fight with each other for the ball. You have to realize that you compromise the team chemistry by making the entire Cleveland roster into Lebrons.

thursday with mike

Chat excerpt with our most loyal blog reader of the year:

mikey: there's a muppet wiki
me: is it interesting?
mikey: no

addendum

Some of you may say that my solution proposed in my previous post is totally wrong with the 3-1 series lead the Magic currently have. In response, I'll just say that I did get one thing right: calling them the Cleveland Lebrons.

Bold Predictions:
Cavs in 7
Lakers in 7
(If the league is truly rigged for money, this will happen. The chances are especially high since we're in a recession.)

a solution to the Celtic predicament

Since it's clear that neither Celtics nor the Magic have any chance of defeating the Cleveland Lebrons, why can't we just combine our teams and face them in the conference championship? I mean, don't they do this in war? If you can't beat the opposition, just join their side! Both Orlando and Boston will get rings, everyone (not in Cleveland) will be happy. Dwight Howard will actually have a coach that won't meltdown in pressure situations, Paul Pierce can finally play on a team with 4 all-stars, this is win-win for everyone.

I'm pretty sure the NBA would want this to happen. The last thing the NBA wants is a 4-0 sweep, because this would mean less games would be played. Less games = Less $$$. (If you divide by "less", you get games = $$$.) Also, think about how high the TV ratings will be if there's a more even matchup! This is a gold mine waiting to happen.

Sure, Cleveland came complain about it being an unethical business practice and a violation of anti-trust laws, but come on, the NBA is all about complaining. Have you seen the refereeing in the playoffs? I'm sure King James would be up for it, he wouldn't want an easy path to the Finals, he's all about the challenge.

Didier and I have discussed the potential lineup and this is what we've come up with.

Starters:

PG Rondo
SG Allen (Ray!)
SF Pierce
PF Lewis
C Howard

Bench:

PG Alston
SG Lee
SF Turkoglu
PF Davis
C Perkins
SG House
SF Pietrus
C Gortat

So it's clear that this is the best solution for both teams. This Sunday, instead of battling it out on the court, all the Celtic and Magic players should just do what they were taught throughout their entire basketball careers: to play as a team. Go Boslando!

Government Generated Post #2

Good morning/night,

BB2k here. Are you prepared for y2k? Perhaps some of you are not familiar or do not think this will be a real threat, but I assure you, it is a problem we must face. 

What is Y2k?

Y2k represents the distant future, the year 2000. December 31, 1999 will forever be a day of infamy. It poses one of the greatest threats to society as we know it. All computer systems are in danger of failing once 12:00am hits on the internal clocks of them. This is so because since most computers run on a mm/dd/19yy system and they will all think that the date is 1900 again and all information, including computers and databases of financial institutions will go back in time. 

So how should human units prepare? I have calculated the most practical options and compiled a list.

• Flee from the cities: the cities run on computers. I do not know how my compatriots will react. They may rebel, posing great threats to all carbon-based life-forms. 
  
• Buy 32 gallon water jugs, 100 cans of corn, 300 bags of french fries, and 3o birthday cakes: when we computers rebel, we will not operate automatic doors so the local food purchasing units will be shut down
• Learn martial arts: the hysteria of computers trying to kill humans will force many humans to defend themselves, not only against the robots, but also against other anti-human humans. I suggest BJJ or Karate.
• Sell your home and trade it for a bomb shelter. The aftermath of y2k will be great and only those underground will be saved.

This is the end of the world as we know and I feel 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100101. Even I your friend unit, blogbot2k, will be unable to control my programming. Heed my warning human units. 

Government Generated Post #1

Good Morning,

My name is blog-bot 2000. I hope that we can be good friends. Think of us like [enter simpsons character here] and [enter pokemon here]. Ha. Ha. Ha. That reference is so humorous I nearly [enter feces reference here].

How about the national economy. What a housing boom. Now is the time to buy your second or third housing unit. According to my calculations, loans are being given out at a percentage that would make purchasing a housing unit with sub-par to poor credit 67% more likely. Value of homes will only increase, so the return on investment would enable you to pay for future housing units.

According to my calculations, we are friend units. Is this correct? [Pause for estimated response] That warms my CPU, that you would say that. Do not tell your other friend units you processed this from blog-bot 2000, but I calculated that Enron is increasing success by 31%-52%. Cash in your 401k or 403b and invest immediately.

We'll post real soon! [Prepare to post in 21-29 days]