We are taught in life to hope for the best, but plan for the worst. But why don't we ever prepare for the best-case scenario? If you think about it, the worst-case scenario is just as likely to happen as the best-case scenario (i.e. rolling a 1 vs. 12 in monopoly, check the math, it's true). Imagine how red your face will be when the best-case scenario happens, and you're not prepared for it. You may laugh at me (ha ha ha), but I carry very random specific objects with me at all times in preparation for a fortuitous moment.
Item 1: Bucket
Best Case Scenario: Money falls from the sky.
Comments: If money falls from the sky, everybody knows the best item to have is a bucket. Everyone will be trying to stuff money into their pockets and European satchels, but those only have limited space. A bucket is basically bottomless if you ignore the inner dimensions of the bucket. My bucket is decorated with a dollar sign on it to explain its purpose.
Item 2: Leather jacket
Best Case Scenario: Someone decides to give away their Ferrari to the coolest person they see.
Comments: There's always a chance that a local Ferrari dealer is willing to give away their last Ferrari on the lot just to get the dealer bonus. However, the dealer can't just hand it to anyone, he's got to give to the person who best exemplifies coolness. That's where the leather jacket comes into play. You don't even have to wear it, just hold it Zack Morris style (over your back with one hand) and you will stand out among the rest. Just think as you are driving away in your new free car (don't worry about taxes, the government decided to let this gift slide), I'm so glad I found this rhinestone leather jacket from my mom's closet.
Item 3: Mop
Best Case Scenario: A sudden promotion
Comments: Your boss runs into your office with a worried look on his face. He's forgotten to get a gift for his young daughter's birthday. It's already 9 pm, the malls are all closed, what is he to do? That is when you reveal the mop you've been carrying with you everyday to work. You pull off the stick and hand the yarn bundle to your boss. It's a Justin Bieber hair replica. Your boss is overjoyed because his daughter is a Bieber-ite! Not only does your boss perform the moonwalk, he gives you a promotion. And it's all because you had that mop.
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3 comments:
It's all about the leather sleeves according to demetri martin
The mop is smart. You'll never know when someone will want bieber hair.
if they don't like bieber, they can also pretend they're harry potter flying on mop... (broom, same thing)
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