120 stars

We finally collected 120 stars in one day. You might not have been there, but we documented the whole thing, so you can basically feel like you were there.

Mario64 120 Star Diary (Bill Simmons Style)

Note: Be warned that the diary is a lot funnier if you've actually played Mario64.

Note 2: Thanks to Tim Ho for giving the finishing touches to our collectively written diary.

So long, bonuses!

As an act of good faith in this difficult blog-cession, Calvin and I (Jared) will no longer be accepting bonus money and corporate perks in writing our blog. As a result, the following perks will be removed*:

• Head massages while we brainstorm for blog ideas


• Lessons on how to be hilarious in blog posts


• Our favorite corporate meal: caviar stuffed in foie gras stuffed in filet mignon stuffed in duck stuffed in lobster all wrapped in a giant crunchy taco shell.


• Afternoon pancakes, because we don't drink tea


• Annual photo shoot of Calvin and Jared jumping


• Speel checker


• Exclusive weekend use of Cal-fin


• Door-to-Door Rickshaw service


• Corporate Jet (we'll just use Calvin's jet instead)


• Gym membership (we never used this anyway)


• Eye-whitening strips


• Weekend retreats at Fantasy Roll and Rock Camp


• Money fights, where we just throw wads of cash at each other and then throw away everything when we're done


• Foot massages while we brainstorm for blog ideas

Thank you for continuing to read our blog despite the blog-cession we are in. Hopefully these concessions will help us keep our employee count at 2.

* fine print: This enactment will begin on March 26th, 2109

Final Four: karaoke (ka-la-OK) time

In honor of March Madness, I decided to come up with a list of four songs that I refer to as "sing-a-long" songs. Once you hear it, you just want to start singing it with a bunch of people either because you all know the words or you want your off-key voice to be drowned out by your buddies. If you can come up with a better list, I'm all ears, post it in the comments.

Note: If the embedded video doesn't play, you can just click the video to take you to the youtube link.

let the one upping commence!

from mike. gotta love office stock photos

just for fun. something quick.

recipes - fruit roll-ups

Fruit Roll-ups

Ingredients:
Fruit Roll-up

Directions:
1. Open individual Fruit Roll-up package.
2. Unroll Fruit Roll-up.
3. Eat it.
4. Spit out plastic.

we've been one upped.

(is greater than)


thanks emily ... for kicking our blog in the face.

just kidding.

recipes - toast w/butter

Toast w/butter

Ingredients:
Bread
Butter

Directions:
1. Place bread in toaster oven for 3-5 minutes.
2. Take toast out of toaster oven.
3. Rub burn cream on hand to lessen pain.
4. Use knife to spread butter on toast.
5. Call 911 because the knife chopped finger off.
6. Enjoy toast with other hand on the way to the hospital.

the videos we make

We like to link other pages, so here's a link to a video we made for the 2009 college retreat that we didn't get to show. We like to save bandwidth, so click the link if you want to watch. The video is about 10 minutes long. If you don't want to watch the video that's fine, you should still click the link, there are many other great posts in there. I almost forgot, here's the link:

The Choices We Make

- calvin and jared [advertise for jerry]

recipes - soy sauce rice

As many of you know, I cannot cook like Gordon Ramsay. Instead, I will tear a page away from my cookbook and show you how to make food that you can eat, but probably wouldn't serve to others.

Soy Sauce Rice

Ingredients:
Rice
Soy Sauce

Directions:
1. Get a bowl of rice
2. Pour soy sauce on it for 2 seconds.
3. Mix it together till it turns somewhat brown.
3. Voila! I can't count.