Hyperbole

Can you imagine a world where hyperbole was taken literally? Pretty awesome right? Maybe you're thinking, "What are you talking about?" Allow me to explain.

Hyperbole is defined as:

hyperbole |hīˈpərbəlē|
noun
exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.

It's essentially lying, so I'd be lying less. But not only that, it would be a strong motivator for us to I would think harder about what words I use, which if you know me, I'm not very so very nice at doing ... that.

Example A:
I'd think carefully about telling someone how hungry I was because I knew that if I said, "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," they would feed me a horse. I don't like horse meat! And to make things worse, I'd see all that food and I'd feel bad wasting it and I'd force myself to eat a lot more than I needed. This would make me fatter and give me heart disease and thus kill me at the tender age of 12.

Example B:
I need my phone on me at all times so that I can do all the important things like update my blog while driving and play games while on the toilet. Needless to say, I am naked without it. If hyperbole was to be taken literally, I would never leave my cell phone at home because if I am naked without it, every time I left it at home, I'd get arrested for indecent exposure, preventing me from living out my dream of being Raffi's understudy.

So I think it's pretty clear life would be a lot better if we took hyperbole literally. So do it because if you don't I will get so mad, I'll die.