This Can't Be Happening

Attention all FHS readers: See the article posted below! FHS needs its readers now more than ever!!!

Half of Local Mediocre Blog Retires Unexpectedly

Boston, MA

4/12/11 8:17am

Jared of the blog For-humors-sake.blogspot.com was informed late last night that he tested positive for BEDs (blog-enhancing drugs). This was his second offense, which according to the ordinances set by the MLB (Major League Blogging), is subject to a 100 post suspension. First-time offenders are subject to suspension for 50 posts, which Jared served from April 1, 2010 and January 7, 2011. This comes as a great shock to many as most readers will remember the heated campaign against BEDs, the denial of his first offense, and subsequent vow to stay clean.

Even more unexpected is his decision to retire from the world of blogging, instead of serving his suspension. One can only imagine how this will affect his public perception and the lasting reputation of his blogging career.

When asked for a comment, his blogging partner, Calvin, had this to say:

"This is a sad day for the blog. I know Jared wanted to produce good numbers with his posts and I know during writers' block he put a lot of pressure on himself, but I didn't think he'd start using again...The signs were there. I should've interceded. I just hope he'll come back some day. Else, this is the end of an era I just miss my friend. Jared, if you're out there come back. The team needs you."

There are no known details regarding what he plans on doing with his time or his computer now that he will no longer be blogging, but rumors have surfaced that he is considering taking his talents to south beach to eat at a Miami Subs Grill, but others report he is eating at a Pollo Tropical. Details in this breaking news will be reported as soon as they emerge.