For Help's Sake

Here at for humor's sake our primary task is to try to be funny. Emphasis on the word "try." But sometimes we feel inspired to try to be helpful. Emphasis on the word "try." This weekend, I encountered inspiration.

Ok, so I gotta qualify this. If you're a guy and you think a girl likes you just because she's nice to you, she probably doesn't. She's just a nice girl (nice-girl effect) and she is probably just being nice and you're overthinking it. You just met her. Literally. Calm down.

However, if there is more that you are basing your assessment on (like if you knew each other all through law school and you spent a lot of time together studying torts), then continue reading.

Here are three things I learned from Something Borrowed...

1. If you are a guy and you are interested in a girl, be a man and take the risk.

There comes a point in every budding relationship when it's fairly clear that there is mutual interest. This is the playoffs of the prelationship. Guys, you need to step up. Don't be the passive guy and let the girl run away thinking you're not interested. Weight the cost. Take the risk. Yes, you're not 100% sure if she likes you or not, but if you think its worth the potential loss, take the risk. Do the most loving thing and don't make her have to put herself out there like that. Stop being scared. Do the right thing. Take the risk.

And if she doesn't like you, move on. Listen to some emo, then dust yourself off. Recalibrate your friendar. See if you are experiencing the nice-girl effect (If that is the case, see above) or if you are in the crabgrass field of the friend-zone (If this is the case, consult a professional).

2. If you're going to tell anyone anything significantly dramatic, do it in the rain.

I don't know why we haven't suggested this before, but it's true. The rain adds the perfect amount of dramatic effect. It's like instant emotion, just add water.

Want to confess your secret admiration of years and want it to have the largest impact? Check the weather. It's looking cloudy with a chance of romance. Or need to tell your boss you're quitting? go to www.accuweather.com/i_am_AMAZING.html/definitely

It can also be used to propose to someone, tell someone you're pregnant, ask someone if they want to go to the store, etc. It's pretty much limitless. I'm actually writing this post in the rain right now. Do you hear that? That's my pulitzer prize for journalism calling.

3. Do not be friends with Kate Hudson.

She's a jerk. For real.

If there are any questions, comment below. You're welcome.