Yes folks, it was the rain's fault that the Red Sox did not make the playoffs this year. I'm not talking about a South Korean pop star, I'm talking about drip-drop rain. Don't believe me? Let me explain. Right before the rain delay started, the Red Sox were up 3-2 and the Rays were down 7-0. All seemed calm and well, the Red Sox are going to crawl backwards with no arms into the playoffs, but at least they will make it. Things couldn't be better. But then in a sudden twist of fate, the shy, yet cute low pressure clouds in the Washington DC area decided to DTR with the popular, yet accepting high pressure clouds, and next thing you knew, bamm, relationship--I mean rain. And after that delay, things started to fall apart. Red Sox blew their lead in the 9th and a few minutes later, the Rays stamped their ticket to the playoffs with a game-winning home run.
So what do we do now as Red Sox fans? We crucify rain! The next time you feel drops coming from the sky, I want everyone start capturing rain water in jars or any container you can find. Then go home and boil the rain water until it disappears off the face of the earth. That ought to send a message to the clouds in the sky to not mess with Red Sox Nation. And I don't want to hear any scientific mumbo-jumbo about the water cycle, we have to strike quickly and not think rationally. We should also tell the rain to go away and never come back. Ever.
Red Sox Nation, remember it wasn't the player's poor play, lack of consistent offense, awful starting pitching, a bullpen that can't hold a lead, overpaid outfielders, a 2-10 start, a 20 loss September, bad managing, or a complacent front office's fault for this epic collapse, it was our aqueous enemy, the rain!
