the origin of sports

Now that the economic crisis has been solved (with the help of 700 billion dollars worth of paper money), we can go back to the important things in life: the blogtober debates.

What is the definition of sports?

I decided to look where most people don't look for answers: the Bible. But to be more specific, I went to biblegateway.com and here's what I found under sports:

Sorry. No results found for "sports" in Keyword Search.

Did you mean spiritual gifts?

I almost gave up, but then I did what most mute snakes like to do, I took out the 's'. Here's what I found:

1. Genesis 39:14
she called her household servants. 'Look,' she said to them, 'this Hebrew has been brought to us to make sport of us! He came in here to sleep with me, but I screamed.

2. Genesis 39:17
Then she told him this story: 'That Hebrew slave you brought us came to me to make sport of me.

3. Psalm 69:11
when I put on sackcloth, people make sport of me.

So there you have it, the earliest (and therefore, most correct) definition of sports is amorous dalliance.

[short intermission to allow dictionary.com to load]

And apparently sackclothes were the rage. If I owned a set of sackclothes, I would put a giant Z on it. Why? Cause I'm bringing sack-Z back.

The end.

definition of sports

this debate (what is the definition of a sport?) has lasted probably a trillion years. the velociraptor would argue with the tyrannosaurus rex about whether eating a stegosaurus was a sport. it went something like this.

T-Rex: "ROAAAARRRRRRRR"

Raptor: "ROAR. EEEEEEEE"

T: "ROARRRRRRRRRRR"

R: "EEEEEEEEE ROAR!"

T: "ROAAAAARRRRRRRRR"

R: "Good point."

They would argue and argue until they realized what they really wanted was to eat each other.

But I digress. a sport is anything you have fun doing. its very plain and simple.

here are some "real" "responses" that "i" "have" given"."

"oh you like to play basketball? well then sir you are playing a sport."
"what? you enjoy running marathons? you my friend are sporting it up"
"you think giving yourself a time limit to finish pooping is fun? sport!"

makes sense to me. but, some might ask,

"so you're saying if you don't like tennis, that makes it universally not a sport?"

then i'd say

"i think the example you just cited...that's paramount. that's a heck of a lot more than most bloggers... and let me just say i'm also known as the maverick, taking shots from my readers...i'm just trying to get people understand my definition of sports"

then some might say

"i'm gonna ask you one last time, not to belabor the point. if you don't like tennis, does that make it universally not a sport?"

then i'd say,

"i'll try to find and answer and bring em to ya!"