Irreplacable?

We all heard Beyonce's side of the story. Now, we hear from the other guy's perspective. [clean lyrics version]

To the left, to the left
[What's to the left?]
To the left, to the left
[Ohh, you want me to go to the left? Twice?]
To the left, to the left
[Okay, I just went left 4 times, now I'm facing you again.]

Everything you own in the box to the left
[Wait, I only have one box? I'm pretty sure I have more things.]
In the closet that's my stuff, yes
[Yes it is your stuff, I don't wear women's clothes.]
If I bought it please don't touch
[But I like touching satin sheets.]

And keep talking that mess, that's fine
[What mess? I'm just talking about satin sheets.]
But could you walk and talk at the same time?
[Yes I can, a lot of people can do that]
And it's my mine name that is on that tag
[Wait, what? That doesn't make any sense.]
So remove your bags let me call you a cab
[Bags? I thought I only had one box.]

Standing in the front yard telling me
[Um, we're inside right now.]
How I'm such a fool, talking about
[I haven't called you a fool....yet.]
How I'll never ever find a man like you
[It's true though, I'm unique, just like everyone else!]
You got me twisted
[YOU were the one that wanted to watch Gigli last night.]

You must not know 'bout me
[...that you have bad grammar?]
You must not know 'bout me
[...that you like to repeat things?]
I could have another you in a minute
[You created a cloning machine? When did you get my DNA?]
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby
[Ohh, a real person. In a minute? Are you serious, we've been talking for a minute, are you dating Superman?]

You must not know 'bout me
[...that you are dating Superman?]
You must not know 'bout me
[...that you like to repeat things?]
I can have another you by tomorrow
[Ah hah! I knew he couldn't get here that quickly. You exaggerate.]
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable
[Couldn't you have just said, "don't think you're irreplaceable." So wordy.]

So go ahead and get gone
[Alright, I'm getting gone. I still can't believe she's dating Superman.]