Pick #1 - Calvin selects Genie from Aladdin - Magic Specialist
three wishes, plus he can sing, fight and get me out of a pickle. AND if i set him free he sticks around like an unpaid bill, but unlike said bill he continues to give me wishes ... done deal.
Pick #2 - Jared selects Terminator - Primary Guardian
This guy is all about protecting weak people that will save the world; it's in his DNA--err, circuits! He's got firepower, brawn, and a shotgun to boot. As the saying goes, a good offense is a best offense.
Pick #3 - Jared selects McGyver - Resource Manager
The Journey to Mordor has limited supplies. If I want to maximize all my materials, I need a guy that can turn a stick, a rubber band, and some rocks into a formidable weapon. He's the guy to do it.
Pick #4 - Calvin selects Jesus Christ - Primary Savior
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He saved the world; surely, He can save me from some puny orcs.
Pick #5 - Calvin selects The Stay Puff Marshmallow man - Intimidator/Snack
Sure he's marshmallow, but he's scary and could probably crush some dark riders...literally. plus if he dies, we get to eat. no more of that elf food.
Pick #6 - Jared selects Bear Grylls - Survivalist
Wow, this guy can survive anywhere in middle earth. He also can help us navigate past potential hazards. Mountains? No problem. Raging river? Cake walk. Army of orcs? Fluff sandwich. Plus, he'll provide us with his urine in case we get dehydrated or a cold blade gets stuck on our hands.
Pick #7 - Jared selects Neo - Bullet Stopper
We need someone can stop bullets, flying rocks, any kind of projectile from hurting us. Also, I hear he's a pretty good fighter.
Pick #8 - Calvin selects Snuggle - Comforter
When the times get tough, sometimes you just need a hug. Enter:snuggle. He so cute and cuddly even Sauron himself might melt a little
Pick #9 - Calvin selects Jared Lui - Primary fighter
We know he can blog. but did we know he was a middle-earth protecting maniac? yeah we did. so naturally, i chose him. look at those gloves. wow. plus everyone he has on his team will be joined with my team. jared and calvin unite, yet again.
Pick #10 - Jared selects Calvin Johnson - Wide Receiver
We need someone who can handle double and triple coverage. There's a good chance the ratio between us and the bad guys won't be 1 to 1.
The end, we hope you enjoyed our draft. In case you're counting, Calvin won this draft. I can't believe Jesus Christ dropped to the 4th pick...
2 comments:
hey, its like 1984 draft. genie is hakeem, your picks are sam bowie. and Jesus is like Michael Jordan. In reality, the first pick was for humor and the fourth pick as ftw.
Bear Grylls. It doesn't sound like he ever goes hungry.
Question: since Calvin picked Jared, doesn't he get all of Jared's picks too? Brilliant.
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