Typos

To be hhonest a posst with alot off typoz in it would b verry obvious and trite. it would be almots redickulus. sew, i wont do it. i refsue to do it. ok i'm dun.

now that that is out of the way, now its time for the real deal.

Why do we make typos? most people would think that its a slip of the mind; their hands are going faster than their brain. I am not going to argue with that logic. but typos are more than just small little slip-ups. they cause so many misunderstandings and so much embarrassment, pain and suffering. Here's why.

Say your name is John and you get a letter in the mail. it goes as follows.

Dear John,

I am so sorry to have to write you to do this, but I think its time that we go our separate ways. For many years I have lived with the fact that my boyfriend collects mold. I thought I could stand the amount of mold you had, but it is clear that I cannot. For future reference, get a better hobby.

Best,

Banessa

Now when you get this letter you think, "oh no this is so sad", as you clutch your favorite jar of fungus. But then you see ohhh its from Banessa, my girlfriend is Vanessa. It must be to another John. Relieved you go to her apartment to tell her the story about the letter and she is there with another man, playing connect 4.
"That's not right, that was our game", you think to yourself. You are crushed. It was from Vanessa. You didn't even see it coming.

pretty crushing right? here's another

you're writing an email to your boss, martin. you want to tell him that you think he's been doing great and that you're proud to be a part of his team. You, however don't want to seem like a suck up so you keep it brief, but personal. your letter goes like this

Martin,

I just wanted to take a brief moment to say thanks for doing a great job and that I am really proud to be a part of your team. Maybe one day we could go to abar and get a drink.

Best,

Jeb

Sounds pretty good right? not bad. But, he never responds to your friendly email. Suddenly, your work load gets more and more difficult, and he becomes more and more distant. Then, out of no where, you're being downsized because of economic hard times. You dont understand. You're hard working, never late and a leader amongst your peers.

You go back to that email you sent to see if perhaps you had offended your boss. You look carefully and see there was a slight typo there. But, how much could that matter? Unfortunately for you, Jeb, it mattered a lot. Abar is a local gay bar and your boss, who is heterosexual and a bit homophobic, thought you were coming on to him. Hence, your situation now. But you'll never be able to prove it because you have no idea of the implications of this small seemingly insignificant typo. You just accept it was downsizing. How sad. Now you work for a sad and lonely man who collects fungus for a hobby.

I say all this to warn you of your lackluster proofreading skills. As you can see, they are very damaging. Very, very damaging. You think typos are harmless. The truth is typos are evil and I will follow it to the gates of hell and defeat it.