thanks for the question! NEXT!
just kidding.
well ... actually, i guess i'm not kidding about me not having a 10 year old kid, because i dont. but i am kidding about addressing your question as such.
anyway, i think lying to your children is an parental past time. look at the ideas of a bunny that gives gifts to children to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. or a fairy that breaks into your home and steals your teeth and give you money.
even my parents got in on it! let's take a look ... here we go!
mom: [in chinese] son, you should eat scallions.now i'm not calling my mom a liar, but i love scallions. i would eat it with many of the foods she cooked and I ordered when i was older and let's be honest. i'm really not that smart. the proof is in the pudding and this pudding [points to brain] is no proof.
me: [in english] why?
mom: because its good for you.
me: what will it do?
mom: it will make you smart (in chinese the word for scallions is the same phonetically as the first character in the phrase meaning intelligent)
so lets move to the topic of reproduction and sex.
what is the common explanation for where babies come from? that's right, the stork. i'm really not sure how the stork came into this, but if the storks were organized they'd sue humanity for slander. it's still not too late. maybe that vlassic(c) stork could lead the way. he seems pretty eloquent.
anyway, i plan on deviating from this tradition of lies!
here's what i will tell my kids.
offspring: [in english] Vater, woher kommen Babys?Father. of. the. year.
me: well, you see... babies are made when a mommy and daddy love each other and ... take part in what is called ... sexual intercourse ... to show that love.
offspring: huh? i don't get it
me: um .... well... its when you have ... ummm how about some ice cream?
offspring: YEA!
me: YAAAAY!
talking to my kids about where babies come from and then later on in their teens, about sex ... I think i'll be able to do it, but it will probably really hard.
that's what she said.
3 comments:
every morning, i internally debate whether to get the 99 cents dunkin donuts deal (an egg and cheese sandwich with any coffee for 99 cents). it's such a good deal, i had it for 3 days straight, but then i went online and checked the calories and was shocked to find out that i probably have to run a marathon to work the freakin sandwiches off. but being chinese, it's so hard to pass up on a good deal. yesterday i was so conflicted by my DD dilemma that i drove myself to starbucks instead and wasted $6 on a soy latte and coffee cake, which is probably just as bad. i can't keep living like this...what should i do???
you. are so. awkward. nice post, though.
you wrote:
it will probably really hard
that's what she said, indeed...
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