worst-er pickup line ever

Let me begin with a statement.

Flowers are pretty.

Let me continue with a more relevant statement.

Roses are pretty.

Let me officially begin with a statement relevant to our campaign.

My opponent is clearly driving the buggy of our campaign towards the supermarket of name-calling and mud-slinging, instead of towards the fishmarket of real issues. That pretentious rapscallion of an opponent believes that the only way to further his agenda is by delivering blow after blow of verbal diarrhea towards my cause. However, his plan of transforming my image into a dirty diaper must end!

I won't spend time talking about his flip-floppy tendencies, like his dual memberships to PETA and WLEMF (we love eating meat federation). I also won't discuss his inability to tell the truth. Last year he claimed to be 23, but in a recent rally this year, he stated he is 24. Well, which is it? I also won't consider bringing up his ax-cut policy. That's right, I did not misspeak, ax-cut policy. He plans on providing ax-cuts to all the middle class, thus widening the gap between the rich and the poor. It's possible that my closed captioning on my elevision doesn't print out the t's, but what I do know is, my opponent is for cutting people. I would like you to know that I am against hurting people. Ok now onto the issues:

How do you judge a bad pickup line?

I believe the correct criteria to judge that is that it's bad and that it's a pick up line. The worst pick up line I've ever heard is, "hey baby, is your name Commitment? Cause I really love you." Bad and super effective (against girl-type humans). Actually, I've never heard that one before, but I just showed how easy it is to come up with a pick up line.

Simple formula: Hey [insert pet name], is your name [insert something that isn't really her name]? Cause [reveal how your "moniker" for her is actually a clever ruse of a pun].

I think what makes a bad pick up line bad is if you take away the opportunity for the opposite gender to respond. You can't just ask a rhetorical question and expect them to fall into your arms like they just got sniped by a boy who happened to play a lot of Halo. Honestly, who likes rhetorical questions? No one likes to be forced to do anything. Thus, if you're going to use a pick up line, at least let them respond, even if it's %99.8 rejection and %.2 here's my fake number.

What can we learn from this?

Absolutely nothing.