living the dream

When I was a kid I had a dream that my mutant power was making any food appear by simply thinking about it. I'd try but it never happened so I just made that magical food and thus my addiction to ramen noodles was formed, but that's a story for another time; that was then, this is now. And now I can realize my dream with the help of our frenemy, technology. All that is necessary is some keystrokes and some mouse clicks and boom food appears. For instance, did you know you can order food from Amazon? It's true.

• You can make sushi and instead of paying the exorbitant prices at the supermarket, let Amazon cover you.
  
• Need hearts of palm? AMZ got you! Twelve pack for $cheap.ninety-nine! It's dot com!
  
• Where else can you get Artichoke bottoms, jeans, and the boots with the fur? Hurry up and buy!

Bask in this newfound glory, humanity. Recognize that we stand at a moment in history that was unimaginable just a few decades ago. The moment where we could sit in front of a glowing rectangle and eat to our hearts content. It's a celebration of life!