Free Dez!

This past Wednesday Dez Bryant, a wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, was kicked out of a mall in Dallas. Not for stealing. Not for breaking goods. So what was he kicked out for? Baggy pants. Yes, my friends, he was kicked out because he had baggy pants. I mean yes, perhaps a fashion faux pas, but hardly an offense to get one kicked out of a mall. Ok granted he made a profane commotion when asked to lift up his pants and he has a track record of issues in that mall, but still, I don't think he should've been kicked out. Yes, he's showing some butt, but no one is stopping all those teenage girls from doing the same thing. Caught you, mall cop! At least Dez is spending money! He's paying for his Supermoon!

They had to have been specifically keeping an eye on him. You know why? The mall cops never kick out those teenagers who do all the annoying things that make the mall worse than it already is. Yet in walks Dez Bryant and it's an ABP on Mr. Saggy-Butt-Pants. I mean I used to work at the mall on weekends and something that would always bug me was the number of kids who would come into my store and play with the stuff there and take pictures of themselves and yell across the store. I was blown away by their general lack of courtesy. Very often we would have to call security and they would be kicked out of our store. But nothing would ever change. Friday 5pm would usher in teen girl squad and the Bieberites. Get a job! Join a club! Something!

Today is Friday. If you're looking for proof, go to the mall and observe teenage human behavior and you will see what I'm talking about. Without a doubt you will see it is clear that Dez was a victim: a rich and famous victim or being barred from his favorite place to spend exorbitant amounts of money. What is America coming to? Won't someone think of the celebrities?