All Eyez On Me

It’s Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend.

I know that we all miss Jared. So I went digging through our old drafts and found a post that he started writing. It is strangely ominous considering what happened this week. Here take a look:

President Obama gave us a direct order to create more jobs. So we're creating them as fast as we can, here are some of our postings. Please apply if interested.

Job Title: Senior Blog Reader

Number of Openings: 5,000

Salary: Any money found on the ground is yours.

Description: Our blog is looking for people who can read our blog and laugh at it, preferably because the blog content is funny, not because they are being tickled.

Desired Qualities:

• Must read blog everyday
• Must comment whenever possible
• Understand Asian cultural jokes
• Sense of humor
• Likes pancakes

Who would've thought he was talking about himself. Here's another one.

Retirement is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, you're able to do all the things that you wish you could do while you're at work, but on the other hand you don't get to do the work that you've trained much of your life doing. For instance, if I wasn't working, I'd probably be blogging more. The 8-12 hours I work could be devoted to being funny, which is completely natural to me. No artificial humor injections needed. And if I ever do get caught I'm going to retire instead of dealing with the consequences.

I guess he sort of knew he was destined for greater things. Now we all know why the caged bird sings. Fly, Jared, fly up up to the sky.