Napping is great

Feeling sleepy?

One of the greatest difficulties regarding working a full-time job is having enough energy to get through the entire day. Late night conversation? That means early morning incoherence. Big lunch? Good afternoon food coma and good day to you too, itis. So what's the solution?

When I worked full-time, I was most tired in the morning and after lunch, usually for those two reasons. Everyone knows that the best way to counteract the sleepies is to take a nap, not caffeine, but where do you take a nap when you don't have a bed or a couch to sleep on? Maybe you're one of the lucky ones who has a couch in your workplace, but can you really sleep in the open and face being labeled lazy? The answer is a resounding no. So, I found the best place to sleep was the toilet.

Here's how you do it:

1. Go into the bathroom
2. Go into the toilet stall (not the urinal, gentlemen ... or ladies...)
3. Drop trou - I know, I know, it seems unnecessary, but its far less incriminating if it seems like you went in there for other business because let's face it: people can see your feet, even if it's not intentional. Just sayin'. It's like Jared always told me, "If you can't act, at least look the part." (He may or may not have ever said that, but he's retired so he can't stop me from making stories up.)
4. Set an alarm for the same ringtone that you normally use for calls. - This way if someone is in the bathroom when you wake up, it'll sound like you just got a phone call.
5. Nap. Any time is acceptable really. I personally liked 15 minutes with a snooze option.
6. Wake up
7. Make small talk with anyone in the bathroom with you
8. Try to clean up any marks on your face from the stall wall or your wrist watch. (You could also take off your watch.)
9. Walk out refreshed to your promotion and/or raise*

Try it out today. You're welcome, universe.

*Results may vary. Possible side effects may include loss of vision or termination. If nap lasts longer than four hours, consult your physician.